On death and losing a loved one

It was a good day, a new start of the week for me. I was on my way to work, Jolo and I were texting, catching up about the things that had happened lately when suddenly I received a text from my eldest sister telling me that my favorite lolo just died.

First thing that came through my mind is that how much I regret not visiting him in the hospital though I knew that he's really sick and almost dying. I thought that maybe I can visit him next weekend or some other day. I regret regret regret not being able to talk to him and joke with him (cus that's the thing he likes to do best). He is the happiest - carefree person I have ever met. Problems do not show in his face. He talks a lot, he is a keeper and I really miss him. :(

He is my Grandpa's brother. My grandpa is still alive though he has Parkinson's disease. My favorite lolo died because he's been sick with Cancer of the colon. He was a diet freak. He is a healthy person, I don't understand why of all people, he's the one who's been diagnosed with such a disease. :(

I cried for a couple of hours, tried my best to not cry (again) at work and went home with his memories until I slept. Today, we decided to visit the first day of his wake at Mt. Carmel Church in New Manila.

I was again, admiring the church and everything that surrounds it. It was indeed such a big church!

He looked really peaceful. This made me happy, seeing him all peaceful and not experiencing pain anymore. I guess it gives us all the thought that it's for the better. God took him because he is a good person, he probably needs an angel. :) He is the perfect person for that position.

******

I took a walk and found the Crematorium section of the church. The place smelled like a hundred flowers mixed altogether, it has become painful in the nose. There were pictures, letters and cards - it was sad.

******

I fear death. It's one thing I will never understand. All I know is I wanna be here like HERE forever. I don't want to grow old and die.

I know my Lolo Ting is in a happy place right now. I believe he is with God and all the other angels. I will surely miss you and all the things you do. We love you Lolo Ting. I love you. :")